Teeth... Why Did It Have to be Teeth?

(Ok, I realize that only about 5% of you will get that quote and what movie it is based on, but it is one of my favorites, and it pertains well to the subject, so you get what you get, and I'm trying to see how many additional independent clauses I can add to this opening sentence, even though I put this in parentheses, so is it truly the opening sentence, but enough of this foolishness!)

I like teeth. They let me chew my food. They serve a very important function for me. My baby girl needs teeth, too. They help her chew her food and be able to eat delicious foods. Unfortunately, babies are not born with teeth. Even more unfortunate, the process of getting teeth can be quite painful for babies. Such is the case for us right now. Our sweet baby girl is getting teeth, and lots of them! I think right now the count stands at 8 that have popped through, with another 2 (molars!) beginning to make their presence known. Over the few weeks, at least twice that I can remember we have been awakened around 1am to the sound of our baby girl shrieking in discomfort. Fortunately, a little TLC usually does the trick and gets her back to sleep.

While we're on the subject of teething, why do so many websites/experts talk about teeth "erupting"? How awful does that sound? They don't explode. They don't have stuff oozing out/spewing things into the air. I mean I guess they erupt from the gums, but that sounds violent. Volcanoes erupt. Riots erupt. Teeth? Whatever. I'm not the expert making up all these terms. (Though I think I really ought to be on that committee.)

So anyway, teeth, you can make our little girl uncomfortable sometimes, but you are necessary, and without you, we'd talk funny and eat tapioca pudding all day.

-D

We are Still Here

A good Tuesday morning to everyone.  I hope you are all doing well.

I realize we have not updated this blog as much as we have in the past.  That's in part our fault and part N's fault.  Our fault because we have not taken the time to update it.  N's fault because she doesn't give us much time to update it.  Since I am updating this from a super-secret location, here are a few things...

Our little big bundle of fun is crawling everywhere and then immediately pulling up on any object bigger than she.  Her least favorite word is "No" at this point, and she will voice yell scream her displeasure when you either tell her no or physically move her from where she was trying to pull up/get stuff from/anything that she thinks she needs to do.

On the plus side, she has become a little chatterbox recently.  We awoke Sunday morning to her babbling on and on about "dadada gagaga".  She is also walking well while holding onto something/someone.  I believe that it won't be too much before she'll be taking steps on her own.

Maybe G will be along later with pictures (and by later I mean maybe next week - haha), but we just returned this past Saturday from a week at the beach.  Big Girl wasn't the world's biggest fan of the beach and sand, but she loved splashing around in the pool - when Daddy had the bravery to enter the chilly water.  What Mom and Dad loved were her big afternoon naps and going to be almost right at 7 every night.  Sun and fun make for a tired baby!

Anyway, that's all for now.  Oh yeah, one more thing, if you don't follow us on facebook or twitter (shame on you for not), then you probably missed the big announcement.  Baby #2 is due in November.  Yep, you read that right.  Another little blessing is on the way.  Hey, G wanted our children to be close in age, and 16 months is about as close as you can get. 

I promise we'll make a concerted effort to update this with more pictures.

Adios!

-D

Visiting Daddy at Work

Last week for Valentine's we went downtown to visit Daniel. We sat in the back of the car (since it was sunny and warm), had a picnic lunch and enjoyed an hour together. It was fun times. Here are a couple of pictures from that day!

Sweet baby posing with sweet Daddy!

The Birth Story: Daddy's Perspective

Originally posted here.

File this post away as "the one that got away" - or that I have been meaning to write for a long time but never got around to it. I would normally blame procrastination but actually have a much better reason.

Fatherhood is one of those things that, at least for me, you can prepare for but in the back of your mind know that you're not even remotely ready for. We found out a year ago that we were going to be parents. We found out 8 months ago that we were having a girl. Then in the middle of July, our little girl entered the world.

So how did that day go? I'm glad you asked, because you're about to get an inside look at what was going through this guy's mind.

The best place to start would be back in June, when G and I made two "trial runs" to the hospital because she had intense back pain which we thought could be back labor. I'll direct you here to get all the details. That experience helped us better prepare for the real thing - what to pack, where to go, layout of the hospital, and, for me, how much wi-fi there would be. A word of advice for fathers-to-be: take a comfortable pillow and blanket, because the hospital sofa is anything but.

Fast forward a few weeks later to a Sunday night/Monday morning. I was having some trouble sleeping, got up, and checked out the weather (shocker), which showed a line of thunderstorms approaching our area. After I finally fell back asleep, I awoke at 6 to get ready for work. There was one hiccup though. G was already awake and told me, "Babe, I'm having contractions." "Um.. what?!?" "I've been having them since 3:45 this morning." At that point, plans to go to work were abandoned (which turned out to be a good thing, because it rained ridiculously hard that morning), and I opted to work from home in the event of, well, you know. The day went on; the contractions continued every 15-30 minutes; and both of us went about our day as best as possible. Needing to get out of the house, both of us decided to head out to Sam's - just to walk around and enjoy what could very well be our last night with only two of us. We got back, ate dinner, and were going to play Mario Party 8 on the Wii... when we decided to go to Target. Again, another nice time for both of us to (slowly) meander around one of our favorite places.

By the time we got home, it was getting late. We were getting ready for bed when G expressed concern that her water may have been leaking. Not wanting to take any chances, we got our things together - calmly I might add - and made the 15-minute drive to the hospital. Another bit of advice for fathers-to-be: they're going to take your wife back for 5 hours 20 minutes to ask her some questions and make sure she feels safe with you; just be prepared to wait and be nervous. When they let me back to see her, she had progressed nicely, but the water had not broken, and our little girl was still not ready to arrive. After an hour, the nurse told us that, while we would have a baby in the next 24 hours, it was ok to go home, as nothing was really happening. We made the drive home, left all of our things packed, and climbed back into bed.

2:00 AM. I had been asleep for about an hour. My wife wakes me. "Babe, my water broke." Ok, time to go again. Now before I go any further, let me say that break does not even begin to describe it. It was a flood that soaked the sheets on her side of the bed. So again, we climb in the car (bags still in the trunk) and arrive back at the hospital. One of the nurses that saw us earlier happened to be walking by as we were checking in again. G was showing me more water that was leaking. Said nurse saw said water running down G's pants and uttered, "Oh yeah, her pants are soaked. Admit her now." More waiting on my part. Phone call to both of our moms. Update facebook status to "Water break does not even begin to describe what just happened." Come back to room to see my wife.

The morning went on. The contractions got stronger. G was in more pain. The epidural was given. G was not in pain anymore. Our moms both arrived within 30 minutes of each other, claiming they couldn't sleep. That was ok with us. Their being there helped pass the time quicker. They also rocked the cafeteria and scored me some bacon and chocolate milk. Yes, I am 11 years old. Around 9:00, the nurse checked G and said it was time to start pushing. The moms left. And I tried my best to avoid passing out for 30 minutes while G started pushing. More advice to dads-to-be: be ready to use a cold washcloth for your wife... and yourself. Of course, you probably do hospitals better than me.

The pushing passed the one-hour mark. At that point, G's doctor came in to assist. G continued to push, but that little girl just would not move past one tight spot. The doctor laid out our options: keep pushing for an hour and hope she moves OR have a C-section. Neither one of us wanted option 2. But at this point, with little progress made in 2 hours, we both agreed that the C-section was best. I notified our moms of the situation, got dressed up in some scrubs, hat, and mask, and walked with my wife to the surgery room...

Or not. It turns out I had to wait out in a hallway before being let in to see her. Longest. 15. Minutes. Ever. The thoughts are running through my head a mile a minute. Is everything ok? Is Ginny ok? Is our baby ok? Why am I waiting out here? I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and looked up to see one of the doctors coming to get me. Once in there, I sat by Ginny as they had the sheet up, working to get Ny out. One of the doctors told me to get the camera ready. I stood up, watched as they struggled to yank Ny out, and then smiled as we heard the most beautiful cry ever. She was finally here!

I walked over to the nurse's station while they cleaned Ny up, gave her a vitamin K shot, and cleaned up the poo that Ny took all over the equipment. That's my girl! She was still upset, as one would expect when being yanked into a cold room. I started talking to her, and, in an effort to secure an early pony promise, she immediately stopped crying and actually turned her head toward me. (There's a picture a nurse took of me with my hands in a position that shows how much I wanted to hold her.) Oh, man. She had me from that point on. They checked her length - 21 inches. They checked her weight - 9 pounds, 8 ounces! Then they swaddled her up tight and gave her to me. Let me tell you this - nothing will EVER prepare you for the moment you hold a new life that you created for the first time. I think I spent the next 10 minutes just staring at her. I brought her over to a now-sobbing G, who was getting sewn up. Little Ny just laid there in my arms and looked up. Once G was patched up, off we went to recovery.

That was the first time G got to hold Ny, who was still alert and looking up at us. I took pictures with the camera and cell phone, preparing for the exclusive facebook photos. We both sat there, exhausted from a long night but in awe that our baby girl was finally here. This little life that grew in G's tummy finally entered the world in all of her beauty and innocence. Even today, I am still blown away by holding her or rocking her or feeding her or just staring at her. From one single cell to a now 15-week old, healthy girl. What a blessing she is.

Daddy loves you, Ny.

-D

Updates and Behind On Pictures

Yikes! It's been a while since an update over here. Last week, Baby Girl passed 10 weeks and today is 11 weeks. I promise to get the 10-week pictures up here (which are just as good as the 8-week pictures) as well as today's 11-week pictures.

Ny is growing right along, sleeping through the night still and getting some good naps in as well. It's nice to be able to get home from work at 4 and be able to spend a couple hours with G before Ny demands our attention.

Sunday was a big day for our little family, as we had Ny's baby dedication. G picked out a dress both her and her sister wore when they were little, only for Ny to spit up throw up on it just as we pulled into the church parking lot. Either G's driving was too crazy (unlikely) or poor baby's tummy was not quite right. Luckily, G brought a back-up wardrobe, and Little Girl was able to get a new dress, some more milk, and a little nap, too. She did great when it came time for the dedication, being quiet and not screaming when our pastor held her. All in all, a great day and a blessing to celebrate our little blessing.

Before I leave you, let me at least post this picture from this weekend. G and her sister were out car shopping, leaving Daddy in charge. I don't think there were any complaints!

We were rooting for UAB to beat UT!

Have a great day!

-D

Nyla Updates

Dear readers, it has been too long since we last met. Unfortunately, the day-to-day activities of life have kept me from posting on here like I have wanted.

But today, here I am writing a post and giving the people what they want - thoughts about health care reform, global warming, and NFL football players in trouble with the law parenthood.

We're closing in on three months until little girl is due to make her debut in this world. Will she actually be born on her due date? Only the Good Lord knows. Ginny's belly is poking out with her little baby bump, and, like all husbands, or at least the good ones, I think she looks the most beautiful now! And I'm saying this because I forgot her birthday it's 100% true!

Last Saturday, Ginny's and her family's friends threw the first baby shower of the Nyla Era. While I would have loved to have attended, that was the third round of the Masters. Plus, I wasn't invited anyway. Win-win for all, especially Nyla, who picked up some great stuff. The two most important, to me, were the car seat and sound machine. Without the car seat, we would have had to leave her at the hospital. (Note to Nyla, if you ever stumble upon this blog after many years, I was only kidding. We would have moved in with you at the hosptial if we didn't get a car seat.) The sound machine is great. Rain and the ocean are my favorite two sounds. The other sounds are a babbling brook, which just makes me want to go to the bathroom go trout fishing, the heartbeat, which I imagine reminds little girl of the womb but I find to be creepy on a Tell-Tale Heart level, and a summer night, which I don't like because the chirping of crickets and cicadas only make me want to find them and squash them (assuming the cicada would not scare the crap out of me).

Because little Nyla has not cooperated with the ultrasound technicians, we get another chance to see our stubborn little girl April 26th - which happens to be the date John Wilkes Booth was caught and killed by the Union calvary, or our 2-year wedding anniversary. Hopefully we can get the remaining pictures of her little heart and know for sure that she's 100% healthy.

Look for other possible updates over the next few weeks! As well as trivia for bonus points in the Baby-Palooza contest!

-D

Baby Update: 23 Weeks

I apologize for the lack of activity around here on the blog. Truth be told, Ginny and I have been simply drawn to this healthcare debate on C-SPAN the NCAA tournament Thursday through Sunday. Nyla's bracket is looking good so far, with three of her four Final Four teams still alive. And depending on what happens, she will win the little pool I run every year. But enough about how I devised a formula so she would have UK winning Nyla's basketball-picking prowess, Ginny is 23 weeks pregnant. What is going on with my little girl is week?

Little Nyla weighs approximately one pound and measures almost a foot in length, or about half the size of Olympic female gymnasts. Ok, I made that last part up, but she is looking more and more human - though she still had red skin and is wrinkled.

Her kicks have definitely gotten stronger according to Ginny, and I can vouch for that, since I have felt kick a few times. That definitely is pretty cool, but I kinda hope she gets out of this soccer phase. I don't have anything against soccer, but I prefer indoor sports - except for golf. Now if she's doing TaeBo in there, that's ok. The more self-defense she learns, the saner I'll be in 15 years more fit she will be. And that part is actually true. The kicking is merely Nyla discovering her muscles and giving them a test drive.

Her hearing is also improving, meaning she can recognize her Momma's voice. And if Daddy would read to her and talk to her - Nyla, not Momma - then she will quickly recognize my voice after she enters the world. That is what I plan on doing. Talking to her. Reading to her. Telling her that the triangle-in-2 is a junk defense.

Ginny is still doing great and starting to show now. I joked with her tonight that she was starting to waddle, and she immediately had the idea to watch Happy Feet. Go figure!

-D

Fire "The Laser"

If you've been reading my other blog over the years, first off, let me thank you for not stopping when I wasn't posting following me. And for those of you who haven't been reading, go bookmark it now. I'll wait....

If you happened to read this post in 2007, you know that completing the wedding registry was one of the best parts of the engagement, besides the counseling sessions. Friday night, we braved the wild drivers of the Wolfchase Area to stop in at Babies -R-Us to register for all of Nyla's Wii games, Playstation 3, and video iPod necessary items like diapers, bottles, and butt paste. (No, that should not be marked out.) I'm not a big fan of shopping, but that changes when I take hold of the glorious scanner gun. Yes, I realize it is a portable bar code scanner. But the scanner gun is more than that. It is power. In my hands I have the ability to force people to get me Nyla whatever I want. It is like a real-life Jedi mind trick. [These are the diapers you're looking for.] If Nyla needs bottles, scan. If she has to have a stroller, yep. If she has to have a Twilight poster, the power of the scanner gun wielder gets to say "no." (And I did.) We spent a good hour and a half probably walking up and down aisles, scanning and hearing that familiar tune of "beep." My scanner gun skills started off rusty, but soon I was scanning at approximately a 91.53% success rate, and that was because Ginny didn't hold the items right I just missed.

I also learned something. Babies today have so much more stuff than when I was a baby. While looking through the strollers, I fully expected to find some with an HDTV TV built-in as we made our way toward the more expensive ones. I figured car seats would be self-warming. And a wipe warmer? Seriously? Ok, that's actually one item I would consider buying for me if I had a taxpayer funded government stimulus some extra money lying around. Hey, if people will buy it, I will scan it.

I think Ginny said she is going to register at Target for some more items. I'm ok with that. I really found Babies/Toys-R-Us lacking in 60" HDTVs, a junior girl golf set, baseball bats for when she starts dating and digital video cameras. More scanner gun goodness to come!

-D

Baby TV

Four months from now, I will be on the doorstep of fatherhood - if not already there with our little bundle of joy. That thought is finally starting to sink in, that I am going to be raising a little person. Nervous? Yes. Excited? Oh yes!

One of the things I have given a little bit of thought is the question of TV. How much should she watch? What should she watch? (I realize this blog has started off on a more serious note, but I promise you it will get sillier the further down you read.) Let's face it. There's not a lot on TV that I would consider good family television - many shows consist of liars, cheaters, and criminals. But enough about CNN, MSNBC, and C-SPAN primetime television. What is my little girl going to watch? What can I watch with her that will be entertaining and educational?

Thankfully, I've had plenty of time to watch and review said shows. 26 years in fact. From my own childhood shows to those my cousins would watch, I have seen a number of programs. So I thought I would give a list of my top five favorite childhood/educational shows.

Now before I get to my list, I have to say that I excluded most cartoons, because, well, I don't really know any value a small child can take away from "Rugrats" (Nyla will probably be able to escape from her playpen on her own) or "Doug" (as awesome as that cartoon was) or "Looney Tunes" (I'd prefer for Nyla to keep away from anvils and cliffs). The shows have to have some form of educational value. Let's begin with some honorable mentions:

--Sesame Street: Blasphemy, I know. I like the silly songs and skits that teach letters and numbers. "Here is Your Life" with Guy Smiley is awesome. And Kermit on location for fairy tales is hilarious. But I don't recall being all that into the lives of the Sesame Street residents.

--Muppet Babies: Unfortunately, the lack of education (not to mention the mystery of who "Nanny" is) makes this honorable mention. This was still one of my favorite shows to watch.

--Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?: A great game show for kids? Check. Learning about geography? Check. Yes, I am a nerd. And yes, I would have thoroughly dominated on this show.

Now on to the top five childhood edutainment (educational + entertainment) shows in my not-so-humble opinion:

#5 - Reading Rainbow: "Butterfly in the sky..." I can sing this song almost verbatim still. Who didn't like Geordi La Forge LeVar Burton showing us the world that books and a little imagination can reveal? Some of my favorite "episodes" include the pizza-making day and sports show, but you don't have to take my word for it.

#4 - The Backyardigans: I've only in the past year come to find this show, thanks to babysitting for the little man "F". Five little friends use their imagination outside in their communal backyard. The results? Tales of knighthood, racing around the world, and, my personal favorite, adopting a dinosaur puppy. The songs and dances during the show are funny and get the kid dancing, and the dialogue is that great humor parents will find hilarious, while the kids are just watching the story unfold. Oh yeah, Pablo is my favorite character. (Picture above in the middle.)

#3 - Arthur: Another show with excellent lessons for the kids as well as clever dialogue that adults laugh at. Yes, the kids may never get out of the 3rd grade, and Baby Kate hasn't walked yet despite being around for years, but the show still teaches excellent lessons about friendship, responsibility, and being good people. Hey, what a wonderful kind of day!

#2 - Square One TV: I will readily admit to my complete and total math nerd-ness, but I really do not care. This show was awesome! Created in the late 80s to help America's perceived "math crisis," Square One had many short features throughout the show relating to math - MathMan, Dirk Niblick of the Math Brigade, and many more. What stands out the most for me, however, is MathNet - the Dragnet spoof with George Frankly and Kate Monday then Pat Tuesday (in later seasons). Each episode through the week would build the story, culminating with the conclusion on Friday. Square One was 30 minutes well-spent, and maybe I can find these somewhere on DVD.

#1 - Mister Rogers' Neighborhood: I confess that during high school, if I was home sick, I would somehow find myself watching this show. Even in college, if I was home, there was a chance I would be watching this show. Not only did you travel to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, you got to see how crayons, rocking horses, and tricycles were manufactured - plus many more. I was partial to Daniel Striped Tiger, because a) he was a tiger; and b) we had similar personalities. I was so fond of the show that my mom actually got me a book of Mr. Rogers' quotes for my birthday... only a few years ago. If I had one show and one show only that Nyla could watch, it would be this one. Mr. Rogers was everybody's neighbor, and the world was a better place for it.

What TV shows did you watch as a child? What TV shows did you want to watch but weren't allowed?

Oh, The Sacrifices of a Father

I have been thinking that once little Nyla enters this world in all of her cuteness and crying, I will have to make some sacrifices for some things to continue as they had prior to this. Observe the following examples:

*Ginny and her dad have been coaching little kid basketball for the past two years. I would imagine they will do that again for the upcoming season. I would always attend practice to help with fast break drills - I called it exercise but really was looking for proof that I can thoroughly dominate 2nd and 3rd graders. When December practices and games begin this year, I will dutifully stay home with Nyla. Never fear, however, for I will still get my basketball fix on. I will have a clipboard diagramming the intricacies of the 2-3 match-up zone, 1-3-1 zone, and the ever-popular 2-2-1 half court trap to the future All-American Kentucky Lady Wildcat. We will also watch game tape courtesy of this great time-waster at work and watch every Duke loss in the NCAA tournament since 2000. My only concerns are that she doesn't try to eat the clipboard marker and/or beat me in a game of "wet diaper" HORSE.

*Ginny is a puppet master... oh wait, that's not what I meant. But she is heading up/overseeing a new puppet ministry at our church. So for those Sundays in the first two or three months after Nyla is born when Ginny has to be at church, I again will humbly resign myself to staying home with my little girl. Again, I want you all to know that I will be ok. Nyla and I will get our church fix by making fun of and watching Joel Osteen.

*Then there is of course the inevitable Saturday when Ginny has to run errands around the town. What will she do? Leave knowing her loving Hubby will take good care of her daughter as both Hubby and daughter nap on the couch while watching golf. Because if the whole basketball thing doesn't work out, then perhaps a golf scholarship will.

I'm fully aware that this will cut into my social life and cramp my style, but, oh, the sacrifices a father will make... =)

-D

Look Who's Thinking - Part I

Do you ever wonder if babies think in the womb? Let's go even further. Do you ever wonder if babies think out loud in the womb? Let's face it - there's not a lot for them to do. They have a lot of time to contemplate life. They have a lot of time to just float and think. I mean, what would you if you were holed up in a balloon for 9 months with limited light and not a lot of sound? You'd think, right? Of course you would.

Fortunately for all of you readers out there, I have obtained, after many years of practicing mental telepathy and Vulcan mind-melding and finally putting them into practice, a transcript of our baby's mental journal. Not wanting to reveal too much, Baby has asked me to use only certain dates and entries. I, not wanting to make Baby angry before birth and therefore set the parent/child relationship off on the wrong foot, will respectfully adhere to these limitations. With that said, it's time to go inside the mind of the baby!

November 16, 2009: It is quite dark and wet in this place. But the warmth and coziness make this a nice place. Other than that, I don't much else. Going to rest now.

December 1, 2009: Still dark, still wet. I am tired of floating. I hope soon I will be free. Happy I am still warm however. Heard this faint voice talking about how little I was. I also could make out "July 19" - which to me means nothing. Will revisit this later.

(Editor's note: First ultrasound done this day.)

December 24, 2009: Dark. Wet. Warm. Feeling festive. Heard faint voice called "Daddy" talk about something called a "Kentucky bib." I've heard that word "Kentucky" before. That same Daddy voice talks about it a lot. He also can be loud sometimes when talking about them. I think he's a little weird.

(Editor's note: I cannot deny any of this.)

January 31, 2010: This dark, wet thing isn't going away, so I might as well deal with it. But it's still warm, except for the occasional draft I'm feeling right now. And it's awfully bumpy, too. Not sure I like this.

(Editor's note: Late-January ice/snow storm. Baby is referring to us trying to re-create the X Games at G's parents' house.)

February 10, 2010: Little uncomfortable here. I think it's because Mommy is uncomfortable with all the poking and prodding at this doctor place. Why can't they just leave her alone? I hope Daddy has to go through this, too, since apparently he had a part in me.

February 20, 2010: Daddy talked to me again. He does that a lot. He sounds nice. But again, what's with all the "Kentucky" stuff? Am I going to like "Kentucky"?

(Editor's note: Yes, Baby, you will.)

I would like to thank Baby for the insight in the womb. Hopefully, I will be able to obtain more information - if Baby cooperates.

-D

What's In a Name?

D here.

I'll be your captain for this post. I anticipate many of my posts will be less serious and more humorous - on the whole anyway.

So if you look off to the right-hand side of the page, you'll see a poll with several suggestions for baby names. I never really thought about the importance of naming another person until I was actually faced with the act of naming another person. I mean, think about it for a minute. I am faced with the task of naming a person for all eternity (assuming we keep our names in Heaven).

The way I see it, there are essentially four categories of names:

1. The "Oh That's So Cute For a Kid" name that morphs into "Job Application FAIL" later in life. These are the names that are great for kids. They're cute, sweet, and fit the kid to a "T". If they just lived in Neverland, all would be perfect. Unfortunately, the kid grows up and hopefully finds success in the "real world" to help pay for the retirement home he/she will send you to.
2. The "You Name Him That?" name but winds up being "The Name of Sophistication" in 25 years. These are the names that, quite frankly, make no sense for a child. But being the progressive-minded parent you are, you recognize the value of a name down the road. Businesses will flock to your child based solely on name and not on merit.
3. The "Of All the Names in the World, You Picked THAT One??" name. The problem with this name is that it often has sentimental value to the family. It's a name that is passed down the family tree or reminds someone of the days of old. So I get why you would want to keep that tradition going. However, and this will be the only time, to quote Rachel from Friends, "Are we having an 89-year old?" You might think it's cute, but the rest of world points and laughs while never running out of jokes for your child. This one I want to avoid at all costs!
4. The "Now That's a Great Name" - This is category I want the name to come under. Fair and balanced like Fox News, this name works for young and old. It blends the youthful exuberance of a teenager with the elegance of a middle-aged person with the downright adorable-ness of a baby. "Daniel" is one of these names. It also is my name.

Now that we have the categories of names out of the way, let's go over a few rules for naming kids.

1. Name them what you're going to call them, and call them what you name them! Yes, shortened names can be fun. Yes, nicknames are cute. But the reality is that you need to name the baby what you're going to call him/her. Not following this rule will only lead to confusion later in life. (Caveat: If we have a girl, I am going to have a cute name. This is 98.65% assured to happen.)
2. Recognize the initials. There are lots of 3-letter combinations. Some of them you do NOT want to see engraved on your child's backpack. Keep this in mind.
3. Syllables and combinations are important. You want have some rhythm to the name. "Joe Gabriel Robinson" doesn't flow well. In my opinion, you needs to have an a-b-a or a-a-a scheme syllable-wise, unless your last name is Nowitzski or Wojceihowski - at which point it's best to go with "Joe" or "Dirk".
4. Tread carefully with "Juniors".

So as we journey toward the world of parenthood, we will be sure to keep in mind of all the rules and categories. The last thing we want to do is start a tradition of naming kids after college basketball team arenas... like Lexington Rupp... oh wait... um... never mind.

Don't forget to enter the Baby Pool-ooza contest, and while we're all about shameless plugs, you can follow me on Twitter, or my wife.

-D